epic
by MrSnark
Summary: CALLIAN! CALLIAN! CALIAIN!


_**HEY EVERYBODDY GLAD YOU LIKE MY OTHER STORIE. I RODE SOME THE OTHE STORYS HERE AND THROUGHT I'D RIGHT LIKE THEM. HOPE YOU LUV.**_

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_**ONE DAY AT THE LIGHTMAN GROUP, SOME THINGS HAPPEN.**_

"_**WOT WOT WOT??????" CAL SAY.**_

_**AND GILLIAN CAME THE ROOM.**_

_**AND SHE WALKES AND WALKED UNTIL SHE STEPPED RIGHT IN FRONT OF CAL.**_

_**AND SHE SLAPPED HIM.**_

"_**WOT WOT WOT?" CAL SAY RUBBING HIS CHEEKS. **_

_**AND THEN RUBBING HIS FACE**_

"_**WOT WAS THAT FOR GILLY?"**_

"_**YOU SLEPT WITH POPPY YOU TART!" SHE SAYS AROUSAL GLEAMING FROM HER ALABASTER EYES.**_

"_**THAT WAS LIKE MONTHS AGO LUVEY DOVE LUV!"**_

_**HE FURROWED HIS BROW AND LOOKED AND LOOKED AT HER.**_

_**SHE SIGHED.**_

_**AND THEN SHE SIGHED AGAIN.**_

_**AND MORE SIGHING.**_

"_**THAT TART RUINED MY LAST CHANCE AT HAPPINESS, BECAUSE I'M LONELY AND MY WHOLE LIFE IS JUST YOU AND THIS OFFICE AND I HAVE NO PERSONALITY OF MY OWN! CHEERS!"**_

_**"WELL I KNOW THAT LUV I'M BRITISH"**_

"_**AND IT'S EVEN WORSE NOW THAT I'M PREGGERS"**_

"_**WOT WOT WOT-WOT WOT?**_

"_**WITH ALEC'S BABY"**_

"_**YOU SLEPT WITH THE WORST PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD? THE ONE WHO BROKED MY HEART BECAUSE HE CHEATED AND CHEATED ON YOU WITH MANY MANY WOMEN AND SMACKED YOU AROUND AND KIDNAPPED YOU AND PUT YOU IN A CELLAR AND MADE YOU READ TWILIGHT?"**_

"_**YES HE"  
**_

_**AND NOW IS WHEN CAL GRAB GILLY GILL GILL BY THE WRIST AND THROW HER TO THE SIDE BC WE ALL KNOW CAL IS TOTALLY LIKE THAT AND STUFF.**_

"_**YOU'RE THE TART NOW! YOU ARE DEFIANTLY THE WORST TART EVERRRRRR!" AND CAL CRY AND TEARS POURED AND POURED INTO HIS EYES.**_

_**AND THAN HE SLAPP GILLY RIGHT IN THE FACE.**_

"_**WELL I DON'T CARE! YOU SLEPT WITH POPPY AND YOU WERE TOTES FRIENDS WITH TERRY AND YOU WENT TO AFGHANISTAN YOU BEGGED AND BEGGED THEM TO SEND YOU TO THE AFGHANISTAN EVEN THROUGH THE TEARS POURED INTO MY EYES AND I BEGGED YOU TO STOP ALL YOU WANT IS ADVENTUIRE AND EXCITEMENT AND EXOTIC WOMEN AND YOU SLEEP WITH ZOE AND THAT ONE TIME YOU FORGOT TO BRING ME PUDDING."**_

_**CAL COULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT GILLY WAS REVELLING.**_

_**SHE WANTED TO HAVE ALEC'S BABY HE THOUGHT BECAUSE SHE THINKS I WANT SOMEONE WHOSE EXOTIC? I NO WANT EXOTIC! I JUST WANT MY GILLY GILL-GILLL!**_

_**SO HE SAY:**_

"_**YOU WANTED TO HAVE ALEC'S BABY I THOUGHT BECAUSE YOU THINKS I WANT SOMEONE WHO'S EXOTIC? I NO WANT EXOTIC! I JUST WANT MY GILLY GILL-GILLL!"**_

"_**I'M NOT ANYONES GILLY GILL-GILL! NOT ANYMORE! NOT WHEN IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU BECAUSE I'M BORING AND I ACTUALLY HAVE A SENSE OF DECENCY! YOU ONLY LIKE HORRIBLE PEOPLE!"**_

"_**WELL YOU ONLY LIKE JACK RADAR! THE TART!"**_

"_**WELL BOLLUCKS! I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THAT I'M PREGGO WITH HIS BABY TOO!"**_

"_**WOT?"**_

"_**OH YEAH BUDDY I HAVE TWIN'S AND ONE OF THEM IS JACKS AND THE OTHER IS ALECS AND I'MA GONNA NAME ONE ORANGEJELLO AND THE OTHER LEMONJELLO"**_

"_**YOUR NAMING ONE AFTER ME? YOU TART!"**_

"_**I THOUGHT YOUD LIKE ME IF I SLEPT AROUND AND GOT ALL KNOCKED UP AND STUFF! ARE YOU SAYING THAT THIS ISNT WORKING?**_

"_**NO I DON'T WANT YOU IF I CAN'T BE YOUR BABY DADDY! YOU WERE MY TRUE LUV AND NOW YOU'VE SPOILT IT!"**_

_**AND THEN TEARS POURED AND POURED INTO GILLIANS EYES.**_

"_**OH HELLOOOOOOOO CAL! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA" AND THE VOICE CAME AND IT LAUGHED AN EVIL LAUGH OF EVIL.**_

"_**JACK RADAR! WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU! AND YOUR TARTINESS!"**_

"_**OH WEL THEN I JUST CAM HERE TO VISIT MAH FETUS"**_

_**HE TURNED TO GILLIAN**_

_**AND THAN HE TOOK A STEP WITH HIS RIGHT FOOT**_

_**AND A STEP WITH HIS LEFT FOOTE**_

_**AND SOON HE HAD CLOSED THE SPACE BETWEEN GILLIAN AND HIM AND HE HAD A HAND ON GILLY GILL-GILL-S HEAVING BELLY.**_

_**IT WAS NORMAL SIZE AT THE BEGINNING OF TIS STORY, BUT NOW IT BIG AND HEAVEY.**_

"_**OH HELLO THERE JUNIOR? I FORGET GILLY IS MINE ORANGEJELLO OR LEMONJELLO?"**_

"_**NOOOOOOOOOO!" CALL SAY.**_

_**AND HE JUMPED UP AND THREW DOWN THE AMBER LIQUID IN THE BOTTLE HE WAS HOLDING?**_

_**AND HE ATTACKED THAT RADER GUY.**_

_**THE FIGHT WAS EPIC. THERE WAS PUNCHING AND KINCKING AND BITING.**_

_**AND THEN RADER DECIDED TO START FIGHTING BACK.**_

_**AND THEY WERE BREAKING STUFF AND CAL WAS ON THE GROUD AND RADAR WAS PUNCHING HIM AND THAN RADAR WAS ON THE GROUND AND CALL WAS PUNCHING.**_

"_**OH NO!" GIL SAY "MY WATER IT BREAKS! WHAT DOCTOR SAY? BREATH? I GOT TO BREATH AND BREATH UNTIL MY BABY'S IS BORN!"**_

_**AND THE BOYS DIDN'T HEARD HER BECAUSE THEY WAS FIGHTING SO BAD.**_

"_**I GONNA KILL ALL YALL!" A VOICE SAY FROM BEHIND.**_

_**AND THEY TURN AROUND**_

_**AND BEHIND THEM**_

_**THEY**_

_**SAW**_

_**A**_

_**PERSON.**_

"_**I GONNA KILL YOUS AND TAKE YOU BABY'S AND EAT THEM"**_

"_**DUPREEE?" THEY SAY**_

"_**WOT?" CAL SAY.**_

"_**YOU TINK YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT ME AND GO OFF AND GET PREGGERS AND NOT HAVE ME TRY TO MAKE A COMEBACK? YOU TARTS!" **_

_**AND DUPREE TOO HIS BIG BLACK VOLUMPTUOUS ARMS AND SMACKED CAL RIGHT IN THE FACE!**_

_**AND THEN HE SMACKED RADER!**_

_**AND THEN GILLIAN HAD HER BABY'S AND HE SMACKED THEM TOO! LOTS OF SMACKAGE HERE!**_

_**AND THAN LEMONJELLO AND ORANGJELLO CAM RIGHT OUT OF GILLYS WOOOM AND STARTED SMACKING!**_

"_**OH NO" EMILY SAY "I STOPPED IN HERE TO TRY AND GET GILLY AND MY DAD TOGETHER, BUT NOW I THIN I LEAVE BEFORE I GET SMACKED!"**_

_**AND EMILY LEAVE**_

_**AND THAN SHE LEFT THE ROOM WIT TEARS POURING INTO HER EYES BECAUSE OF THE SMACK UP HAPPENING ON HER DADS ORIFICE.**_

"_**WOT?" CAL SAY.**_

_**AND BLOOD WAS POURING AND POURING INTO CAL'S FACE.**_

"_**OH I WANT TO HELP YOU CAL!" GILLIAN SAY**_

_**SHE TOOK A PEICE OF PAPER AND WRITHED ON THE GROUND ABOUT HER LOVE FOR HER ONE TRUE LOVE – CAL! **_

"_**OH CAL I LOVE YOU 4EVER" SHE WRITE.**_

_**AND SHE GOT UP.**_

_**AND SHE HANDED HIM THE NOTE!!!!!!!**_

_**AND WHILST IN THE MIDST OF ALL THAT CARNAGE (DUREE HAD JUST RIPPED ON HIS EAR!!!! TEE HEEE!!!!!) CAL LOKED UP AND THEN HE GOT THE NOTE FROM GIILAIN.**_

_**WHO HAD HANDED THE NOTE TO HIM.**_

_**ANDHE CRIED AND CRIED AND SAID:**_

"_**BUT GILLY? WHAT ABOUT THE LINE?"**_

"_**CHEERIO DARLING I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT ANYMORE! NOT WHEN IT STOPS YOU FROM GETTING MY NOTES OF LOVE LUV! BOLLUCKS!"**_

"_**BUT I THOUGHT YOU CREATED THE LINE ALL ON YOUR OWN NOT FOR ANY REASON OTHER THAN TO HURTME BECAUSE IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU AND YOU IS PERFECT AND I CAN'T LOOSE YOU! NEVER EVER EVER! I LOOOOOOOOOVE YOU!"**_

"_**YOU LOVE ME YOU SAY?" SHE SAY**_

"_**YES I SAY" HE SAY**_

_**AND TEARS OF BLOOD WER POURING AND POURING INTO ALL KINDS OF THINGS.**_

_**LIKE A BUCKET THAT WAS CONVENTIENTLY LOCATED UNDERNEATH CAL.**_

_**THO IT WASN'T VERY COMFY.**_

"_**I LOVES YOU TOO CAL! DO YOU LOVE ME EVEN THO I HAD BABY'S WITH ALEC AND JACK RADAR? WILL YOU SING YOUR LOVE TO ME?"**_

"_**OH I SING FOR YOU! I SING ALL THE TIME GILLY GILL-GILL MY LUVEY-LUV-LUV. YOU KNOW THIS."**_

"_**YES THIS I KNOW." GILL TALK.**_

_**AND CAL OPENED HIS MOUTH AND THEN VOLUMPTUOUS MUSIC POURED INTO HIS THROAT...**_

_**

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**_

_**TO BE CONTINUED...**_

_**SO WHAT DID YOU THINK??????? DID YOU LIKES IT??? GOODM BC IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT, I'LL ERAS YOUR REVIEW.**_

_**OH AND I WRITE THE SECOND PART YEARS AND YEARS AGO BUT I ONLY POST IT IF I GET 50 REVIEWS. CHEERS!**_


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